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emilianadarling:

transformativeworks:

OTW’s 7 Wonders membership drive to raise $70,000 by Oct 27 starts now. We need everyone’s help so find out more.

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IT’S THAT TIME AGAIN

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Welcome back to the OTW’s yearly membership drive, the time of year when we all take a moment to look back at our collective fannish history and do our best to support the organization that has given us Archive of Our Own, Transformative Works and Cultures, Fanlore, and so much more. 

It’s also a time to remember that it will cost the OTW will spend $75,000 in 2014 just to replace old servers and expand capacity. All of the OTW’s other projects aside, Archive of Our Own by itself will cost over $155,000 to maintain this year. AO3 is an incredible fandom resource, and as the site has expanded and grown it’s become easy to become accustomed to it being there for us. But any site that has 4,800 page views every minute isn’t going to be cheap to maintain, and right now it’s our turn to give back. (Please check out the OTW’s 2013 annual report, the OTW’s Hardware and Hosting costs, and AO3’s 2013 site stats for more information.) 

Other than tumblr, I literally can’t think of a site that I use more frequently and consistently than AO3 — and it’s given to use entirely for free and with no gross advertising.

Even if it’s only $10, PLEASE CONSIDER DONATING TO THE ORGANIZATION FOR TRANSFORMATIVE WORKS TODAY!

doyouhearskeletons:

rectalragnarok:

in-alptraum-verloren:

eartufts:

countkalvitus:

toughset:

humourous-fallen-angel:

ben-c:

since so many people are a fan of my insults, i’ve made a curse-free insult generator at the request of a very enthusiastic anon

here u go, bud

YOU REPULSIVE CELERY STICK.

PREPOSTEROUS WAFFLE

YOU TEDIOUS KNITTING NEEDLE

YOU ABHORRENT CANTALOUPE

YOU SORDID BALLPOINT PEN

YOU OBTUSE JAR OF RELISH

YOU ABSOLUTE PEANUT

carrotcatmd:

STORY:

On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. 

I have a $50 bill and a $2 bill. I figure with the $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about irritating anyone for trying to break a $50 bill. 

Me: ‘Hi, I’d like one seven-layer burrito please, to go.’ Server: ‘That’ll be $1.04. Eat in?’ 
Me: ‘No, it’s to go.’ At this point, I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny. 
Server: ‘Uh, hang on a sec, I’ll be right back.’ He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot.

The following conversation occurs between the two of them:

Server: ‘Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?’ 
Manager: ‘No. A what?’ 
Server: ‘A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me…’ 
Manager: ‘Ask for something else. There’s no such thing as a $2 bill.’ 
Server: ‘Yeah, thought so.’ 

He comes back to me and says, ‘We don’t take these.

Do you have anything else?’ 

Me: ‘Just this fifty. You don’t take $2 bills? Why? 
Server: ‘I don’t know.’ 
Me: ‘See here where it says legal tender?’ 
Server: ‘Yeah.’ 
Me: ‘So, why won’t you take it?’ 
Server: ‘Well, hang on a sec.’ 

He goes back to his manager, who has been watching me like I’m a shoplifter, and says to him, ‘He says I have to take it.’

Manager: ‘Doesn’t he have anything else?’ 
Server: ‘Yeah, a fifty. I’ll get it and you can open the safe and get change. 
Manager: ‘I’m not opening the safe with him in here.’ 
Server: ‘What should I do?’ 
Manager: ‘Tell him to come back later when he has real money.’ 
Server: ‘I can’t tell him that! You tell him.’ 
Manager: ‘Just tell him.’ 
Server: ‘No way! This is weird. I’m going in back. 

The manager approaches me and says, ‘I’m sorry, but we don’t take big bills this time of night.’

Me: ‘It’s only seven o’clock! Well then, here’s a two dollar bill.’ 
Manager: ‘We don’t take those, either.’ 
Me: ‘Why not?’ 
Manager: ‘I think you know why.’ 
Me: ‘No really, tell me why.’ 
Manager ‘Please leave before I call mall security.’ 
Me: ‘Excuse me?’ 
Manager: ‘Please leave before I call mall security.’ 
Me: ‘What on earth for?’ 
Manager: ‘Please, sir..’ 
Me: ‘Uh, go ahead, call them.’ 
Manager: ‘Would you please just leave?’ 
Me: ‘No.’ 
Manager: ‘Fine — have it your way then.’ 
Me: ‘Hey, that’s Burger King, isn’t it?’ 

At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner. I have two people staring at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect.

A few minutes later this 45-year-oldish guy comes in. 

Guard: ‘Yeah, Mike, what’s up?’ 
Manager (whispering): ‘This guy is trying to give me some (pause) funny money.’ 
Guard: ‘No kidding! What?’ 
Manager: ‘Get this. A two dollar bill.’ 
Guard (incredulous): ‘Why would a guy fake a two dollar bill?’ 
Manager: ‘I don’t know. He’s kinda weird. He says the only other thing he has is a fifty.’ 
Guard: ‘Oh, so the fifty’s fake!’ 
Manager: ‘No, the two dollar bill is.’ 
Guard: ‘Why would he fake a two dollar bill?’ 
Manager : ‘I don’t know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?’ 
Guard: ‘Yeah.’


Security Guard walks over to me and……

Guard: ‘Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you’re trying to use.’ 
Me: ‘Uh, no.’ 
Guard: ‘Lemme see ‘em.’ 
Me: ‘Why?’ 
Guard: ‘Do you want me to get the cops in here?’ 

At this point I’m ready to say, ‘Sure, please!’ but I want to eat, so I say, ‘I’m just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this two dollar bill. I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I’m taking a swing at him. He takes the bill turns it over a few times in his hands, and he says, 

Guard: ‘Hey, Mike, what’s wrong with this bill?’ 
Manager: ‘It’s fake.’ 
Guard: ‘It doesn’t look fake to me.’ 
Manager: ‘But it’s a two dollar bill.’ 
Guard: ‘Yeah? ‘ 
Manager: ‘Well, there’s no such thing, is there?’ 

The security guard and I both look at him like he’s an idiot and it dawns on the guy that he has no clue and is an idiot. So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small drink and some of those cinnamon thingies, too.

Made me want to get a whole stack of two dollar bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff. 

televisiontelepath:

Oh shit we’re all really dumb

Hussie-as-Caliborn getting social media accounts (deviantArt, and possibly Amazon) isn’t just a joke, it’s a plot device.

Homestuck has been slowly breaking format more often the closer we get to the end. Art is no longer confined to panels, John is unstuck from canon, and a whole bunch of other stuff.

Caliborn interacting with the internet isn’t just a gag, it’s the next logical step of the story’s plot and themes.

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